When you live in a bilingual city you have to prepared for little idiocies what to make of fines herbes when you're not sure it's French or mistaken English referring to basil or oregano from Fine's Flowers and what to make of the sign on the Number 16 bus that announces Main in LEDs does it trace the life line in the palm of your hand? or does it take Main past The Green Door and Saint Paul University? and what do you even do with a sandwich board protesting that you aren't at least trying to dance asking you ever so plaintively not to pussyfoot or show off your fancy footwork and consider if you can the cheese pieds ah but that's Lebanese French and you haven't said whether you like parsley and mint and eat tabouleh or can distinguish Moroccan couscous that tastes of licorice and when you find out it's the anise from Saudi bulgar and there's no point tackli...

Give us this Day is the online creative journal of Kurtis Kitagawa, PhD (Edinburgh), MPhil (Oxford), MA (Chicago), BA First Class Honours (Calgary), who, withal, considers himself a student of history. Check daily for freshly composed essays and offbeat creative writing inspired by a life spent in universities, government, and business. Job offers gratefully accepted. Alternative facts welcome, and will not be burned. Nor will their ashes be used as eye shadow!