There is only one choice you have to make when eating beans on toast. Whether you would like your toast cut into soldiers or squares. Of course, no choice is necessary when you eat soft boiled eggs. And surely there is only one way to eat Cadbury's Flake 99. After all, who could doubt the imprimateur of the Post Office? Next to that, the closest we came was Mr. P.G., but who's counting?

Give us this Day is the online creative journal of Kurtis Kitagawa, PhD (Edinburgh), MPhil (Oxford), MA (Chicago), BA First Class Honours (Calgary), who, withal, considers himself a student of history. Check daily for freshly composed essays and offbeat creative writing inspired by a life spent in universities, government, and business. Job offers gratefully accepted. Alternative facts welcome, and will not be burned. Nor will their ashes be used as eye shadow!