Brother can you spare a dime? Harry, what's a mild cigar? Harry worked in the Scotmid Co-op in Toll Cross, Edinburgh. He was a modest Scot in his white butcher's coat, and he was always willing to oblige with an answer to the sort of colonial from Morningside--escapees from the Raj--or Canada who had to be told what the little liverwurst sleeve of dough in a packet of minced beef was for. "A-em, just a dumpling, I think."
Things were no less tricky at the cash, where Harry was often called in for his opinion on wines and spirits--never beer, mind--and tobacco. Was a panatella a mild cigar? How much do you cut off the end of a stogie, and what do you expect on the first puff?
Ever informative on the magic of a box of caustic soda crystals to clear a blocked drain--or baking soda and vinegar in a pinch.
Less helpful was Harry--so he was--with matters of mice--"A-em, you'll have to call paest control for that." So I did.
Kipling, who made comments about big guns and so many other politically inappropriate things it would be impossible to include them here, once visited Medicine Hat and declared that it had all hell for a basement. It does have natural gas, and a flame is constantly lit in the coulees to mark the spot. Some say it is a waste of gas, but at least you can actually tell the whisperer by his flame. Harder to pin down is the wind. In southern Alberta they say the cows sleep standing up because of the wind. And you only know there isn't a breeze when you get bit by a sand fly. Here I met Danusia, the daughter of Polish combatant, who, along with her childhood girlfriend Bogusia, sold Toni home perms and L'Oreal hair colour to fellow children of displaced persons, who cut hair and did it up just so in the Flats, where it flooded every Spring, or thereabouts. Danka and Bugsy were married, as was the custom, to strapping Polish lads who worked at the IXL brickworks, where red
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