Would you be OK
mind terribly
if I were to show you
what's going on in my mind
not that I want you to live in my head
trust me
you wouldn't want to do that
I just want you to look into the alembic
and watch the elements combine
and tell limbic from limbo
as you watch my mind in motion
on random matters
of the heart and spirit
and maybe even my soul
can I tell you
for example
I'm reading Emily Bronte now
or rather
remembering the feel of the page
between my right thumb and index
and the weight of the book
in the open palm of my left
while I hear Kate Bush's
Coles Notes of the novel
mind terribly
if I were to show you
what's going on in my mind
not that I want you to live in my head
trust me
you wouldn't want to do that
I just want you to look into the alembic

and tell limbic from limbo
as you watch my mind in motion
on random matters
of the heart and spirit
and maybe even my soul
can I tell you
for example
I'm reading Emily Bronte now
or rather
remembering the feel of the page
between my right thumb and index
and the weight of the book
in the open palm of my left
while I hear Kate Bush's
Coles Notes of the novel
and imagine rolling and falling in green
and how it was ever true
you had a temper
to match my jealousy
and how you could possibly have known
I needed to
possess you
and when I leaned that way
I hated you
I loved you too
and in a way that was all that mattered
and there was more going on inside
and whether it was an unwanted thought intruding
and unclear whether it was the mill stone or the grain

or a feeling suppressed and pushed down my neck
like a turkey for the stuffing

or a memory replaying a triggered trauma
in the hippocampus

which
like a rabbit's tail

is useful for steering
or maybe it's just a pivot for fear or flight
or fight
or a belief bringing forth an old bias
about whether I am loved
or loveable
but that will have to wait for next time
because it's late
and the customary view
is it's time
to sleep
and let my soul go dark
for a while
after all
you can't conjure
what you can't at least see
with your mind's eye
or your Sleep-eze
and let my soul go dark
for a while
after all
you can't conjure
what you can't at least see
with your mind's eye
or your Sleep-eze
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