Would you mind terribly

Would you be OK
mind terribly
if I were to show you
what's going on in my mind
not that I want you to live in my head
trust me
you wouldn't want to do that
I just want you to look into the alembic

and watch the elements combine
and tell limbic from limbo
as you watch my mind in motion
on random matters
of the heart and spirit
and maybe even my soul

can I tell you
for example
I'm reading Emily Bronte now
or rather
remembering the feel of the page
between my right thumb and index
and the weight of the book
in the open palm of my left
while I hear Kate Bush's
Coles Notes of the novel

and imagine rolling and falling in green

and how it was ever true

you had a temper

to match my jealousy

and how you could possibly have known

I needed to

possess you

and when I leaned that way

I hated you

I loved you too

and in a way that was all that mattered

and there was more going on inside

and whether it was an unwanted thought intruding

and unclear whether it was the mill stone or the grain

or a feeling suppressed and pushed down my neck

like a turkey for the stuffing

or a memory replaying a triggered trauma

in the hippocampus

which

like a rabbit's tail

is useful for steering

or maybe it's just a pivot for fear or flight

or fight

or a belief bringing forth an old bias

about whether I am loved

or loveable

but that will have to wait for next time

because it's late

and the customary view

is it's time

to sleep
and let my soul go dark
for a while
after all
you can't conjure
what you can't at least see
with your mind's eye
or your Sleep-eze