Pufnstuf and other fish swaps

I can still remember
H.R. Pufnstuf

and the life size puppets
of McDonaldland
who played
on the popularity
of Pufnstuf
and whose Ronald McDonald

Mayor McCheese

and Hamburglar

were the spitting image

of the Krofft characters

in the 70s
I made a name badge
with Dymo vinyl
that said H.R. Pufnstuf
and wore it
to work at Shoppers
when I worked the cash
staff didn't notice
but a customer did
she was buying Roux Minx
hair colour

and dropped her purse
when she saw my badge
so all
of her change scattered
across the floor
and then she laughed
when she looked
at my badge again
and we collected her silver and coppers
I apologized
and she laughed some more

out of this
I learned how there got to be
a blue rinse set
and what
to do next time
my legs got weak and
I snickered
to myself

the poor lady
had nothing to learn
and seemed unscathed
by the levity
and even laughed
when
I said there was no need
to check my smoking material

some time later
I posed
for a camera
wearing a captain's hat
and
at first remembered
Captain Crunch
whose ghost told me
I was right to eat sugar cereal right
out of the box
without milk or bowl
and then
Captain Crook
who reminded me
of Pufnstuf

I always imagined
Captain Crook was a fan
of the Filet-O-Fish

which

depending where you live

might contain

hoki

or Alaska pollock

and a half slice

of cheese

Canada, Netherlands
and Hong Kong

somehow the thought
of having
a Fillet-O-Fish
without cheese
is not as offensive
(or maybe just a little easier
to swallow)
as a fish swap
for instance tilapia

for red snapper

or rainbow trout

for salmon

or catfish

for sole

which really happens

in the supermarket
when it's fileted
of course.