I have been

I can't remember
how many times
I went
to the window
to watch the street go
by
I have been surprised
each time I saw
someone I had seen before
and others
who were new

I have been old
when
in a dream
about opening the door
of a wedding cake library
when the guard was asleep
I didn't know
if I would see
another book
or another morning

I have gone two weeks
eating only bread and margarine
and the odd spot of coffee
here and there
I have been down and out

I have been hopeful
when
somehow
the clouds broke
and the weather changed
and the sun came out
to meet me half way
as I greeted the day
after all

I have been ashamed
when
in spite
of kindly gestures
and caring words
I startled
or offended
where I made
to comfort
and made
to play

I have been conciliatory
when hands were rough
and handshakes were extended
when fists were clenched.

I have been silent
when night passed
and a fever broke
and I gathered
the last apple
that fell
onto frosty grass
and presented it
to you.